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xoxo,
jkrew

So I signed up for braces today. Again. You see, when I was in junior high, like normal middle class kids, I got braces. They weren't the horribly ugly metal ones because mom and pop sprung for the clear braces. They still were the oldschool wire and rubber band doodads that haunt many of my 30-something friends dreams to this day though. Anyhoo, all was well in the world, I had them removed, I was happy and then I started doing this thing with my retainer that fucked it all up. I just sort of... didn't wear it.

Now, I won't blame my inability to wear the retainer as the sole reason my grille is as busted as it is today. I also had four wisdom teeth that decided to not only come in late, but sideways as well.

Oh well.

So, as the years went on, teamed up with a botched dental visit that put the fear of god in me for years, I simply gave up on my teeth. I think the longest I went without a dental exam was close to 4 years. I finally started going back to the dentist last year and after 6 fillings and a root canal later, my teeth are somewhat status quo. Other than my shite smile.

I've always had issues with my smile. So much so that I just don't smile anymore. I got my wedding book back the other day and almost every single candid picture, I'm not smiling. The ones that I am smiling in, I can't help but see that my front teeth look like they are greco-roman wrestling eachother so something had to be done.

I'm not vain I swear. As many of you know, I don't really care that my hair is jumping ship at an alarming rate, my moobs have taken residence on my body and I'm starting to grow other hair in places that simply doesn't need the protection of hair. But lately, maybe because I'm married to a smoking hot wife, maybe because aging sort of sucks in your thirties, I've started to take heed of my outward appearance. I finally had that mole on my back removed. Yes, the one that taunted me every single summer day of my young life. The one that forbade me from going back first down a water slide. Sliced, gone!

I joined a gym with the lil lady. We go 5 days a week. We're not meatheads but I do intend to strut my stuff at the beach this year without making pre-teens point and laugh. Heck, I'm down to my ideal weight now. Moobs, your days are numbered.

And then I got braces this afternoon. I just wanted to go in and make a quick appointment and 5 minutes later, I was suckered into signing away my cash and was siting in the exam chair with a mouth full of epoxy They are a fuckload of cash. Cash that could be spent on bigger turbos or shinier diamonds or a nice vacation. Are they needed? Nah. Am I excited? Yes. I'm not expecting the world here, but I do think that it's money well spent if it makes me smile more. I miss smiling. I almost want to redo the wedding just so I can get better pictures with my beautiful wife and her beautifully perfect smile.

Oh well, see ya in a year =)

Have a nice trip back to Alaska sweetheart.


Thank god.

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1103/p09s02-coop.html

no srsly...

http://barackobamaeatsbabies.com/

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

WTF man. Seriously.

Fuck you can't go back to Alaska soon enough...